There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.
"What condition does he have?" the student asks.
"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll pass into a coma."
The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the hall.
As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.
"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"
"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a better health plan."

A pregnant woman goes to the doctor for results of a test. The doctor invites her in to sit down.
"I'm sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems."
"What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I'll love it. It's my child and I'll love it regardless."
"Well, yes, of course,... but your child has no legs."
"Oh dear. Well, it's my child, and I'll love it regardless."
"And it hasn't got any arms either."
"What?"
"Exactly what I said. Your child doesn't have a body, or a face. In fact, your child is only a very, very big ear."
"Oh my God! This is terrible! Well, it's my child, and I'll love it. I'll learn all the lullabies in the world to sing to it."
"Mrs. Smith, one last thing.... Unfortunately, your child is deaf."

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical abnormalities."
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."

A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway.
When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do what the doctor said.
As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive 'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much liquid before going to bed.
"So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
"Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."

A girl goes to the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.
"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
She replies, "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, why do you ask?"